Not for You, Tommy!

One early morning as the sun rose over southern England, the Hun, wearing a pair of grey trousers with braces going over his shoulders, looked east from the window.

Out Towards the Sea

Out there the policemen and women were stationed trying to see how they could intercept Mädel once she makes her escape from England, for they knew she was preparing to leave with Alexandra for Germany.

They needed to stop her, Whitehall had big problems on their hands, they wanted to get her manuals and manuscripts and failed owing to the Hun who had years ago debugged the whole house, disconnecting all chips and devices placed behind the radiators, in the smoke alarms and inside bathroom taps. In fact he had used a special detecting device and it just buzzed every time a bug was found.

He had learnt this trick from his lawyer a long time ago who had instructed him on the illegality of spying on other people while lying to them and the right to self-defence against household bugs, something which is enshrined in Hun’s Law.

Here is today’s Party march.

A Pair of Hobnailed Jackboots

Putting on standard boots and his Wehrmacht overcoat, he silently left the house as Mädel was still in her bedroom, and after quietly closing the front door behind him, walked down the garden pathway, passed in between the thicket at the bottom of the garden and left through the gate.




Once out on the pathway, he strode towards the street leading to the docks where he encountered some men in black uniform speaking into a walkie-talkie. Turning round and seeing him, they appeared to interrupt the conversation through the ether, but the Hun, waving a fist at them, said You’re looking for Mädel, right!

A nasty grin appearing on his face, he added Not for you, Tommy! She’s coming with me to Germany.

He concluded the salvo with Mädel is English, but she was never promised to you. And that’s where you lost the war, Tommy, because I’m her chosen one and you are not going to get anywhere near her!

Satisfied with the day’s good deed, the Hun completed the round back home, stopping over only at the bakers to pick up some bread and fresh cream cakes for breakfast.

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