The Impossible Trade Deal With Germany

Today at The Party we’ll take a brief and succinct look at why any country seeking a trade agreement with Germany is wasting their time.

No Sovereignty

To start with, Germany is not a sovereign country and its governing institutions are unable to establish trade relations as these are defined by EU laws. Consequently, whether the talk is about tariffs, quotas of imported goods or even what kind of product may be imported, a German government is utterly reliant on the regulations imposed by the European Union’s Commissariat.

In the current stand-off between the United States of America and the twenty-seven member states of the European Union on tariffs, the government in Berlin has absolutely no leeway in negotiating a reciprocal agreement between the USA and Germany. On their part, the US Administration quite rightly refuses to accept as a discussion partner an EU commissar claiming to represent ‘Europe’ in place of a minister who should be representing an elected sovereign German government.

Should it surprise anyone that no country can take a German government seriously under the current circumstances?

The Stone Age Economy

The most that could happen is that a company based in Germany might attempt on its own accord to circumvent a trade barrier by reducing production at home and increasing it abroad. This will inevitably result in laying people off in the homeland and thereby diminishing the State’s revenue intake in terms of workers’ tax payments as well as adding more burden to social benefit payments which are always at public expense.

People who are unable to find work have less money to spend in the economy and the companies obliged to make employees redundant have little incentive to train new skilled workers. As time goes by, the lights go out and the country reverts to a Stone Age society.

Bringing Everyone Down

Chained to each other and each wearing the same size shoes and a jacket of the same waist measurement, twenty-seven countries wade out into the sea defying the current and gradually leaving the seabed beneath their lead-boots as they try plodding along. The western half holds up the eastern half with financial public funding called EU net contributions that cost France a staggering 10 billion euros a year and Germany an eye-watering twenty billion – Italy being a distant third with four billion.

Singing “We all lived happily ever after”, the western countries of the EU were the first to stumble, and the eastern ones are now at risk of getting dragged down with them as sheer public bankruptcy takes its grip over the western net contributors.

Considering Germany’s prominent self-sacrificing position in this mess and the recent decision to incur a further 1 trillion euros public debt to fund it all – adding to the already existing several trillion euros debt, is it surprising that other countries are laughing at the German government while the free-minded Americans – who once tossed British tea into Boston harbour – call this a tyranny over the German nation?

England’s Money

When England voted to quit the EU in 2016, the Tory government of the time made sure that England’s interests were sacrificed to the commands of foreign governments, princes, kings and potentates. In fact, an EU commissar resembling a hot air balloon tied to a string and always floating in the background made sure that English public funds kept flowing into the EU’s coffers for four years after the referendum, and that a further 39 billion pounds of English money was handed over as a ‘penalty’ for daring to leave the European Union.

Of-course totally illegal, the then prime minister openly threatened that England would not leave the European Union unless they followed these orders. Finally, instead of getting the thing done, the Tory party then said: “You have to vote Boris Johnson into 10 Downing Street to get done what we deliberately refused to do”.

The same Tory party, once elected back into their imaginary and delusional power cloud, handed over every penny plus the interest of this £39 billion to a foreign empire run by a combination of commissars and leaders sitting in several European capitals.

You're Going to Germany!

When England finally did stop paying up to the EU around 2020 (apart from the 39 billion pounds ‘penalty’ and the interest which the Tory party handed over progressively until around 2024), the burden the English paid was promptly placed onto the shoulders of the Germans, whose public net annual contribution to ‘Europe’, that is the money paid to eastern Europe that does not come back, went up from 13 billion to 20 billion euros a year.

This isn’t fair!, said I to Freundin. I was declared dead by the British and England’s money is being handed over to Europe. I never got one cent or a penny, and somebody sitting in the chancellery in Germany thinks it’s funny.

At the time Mädel had dreams of starting a career in what should have become sovereign England, but when the Tory party got back into power and did what they did, she didn’t think it was funny either.

Listen, I continued, I’ve shut your prospects down in England, Mädel, you have nothing to hope for here, you must go to Germany and sort this mess out. The German Mother has chosen you, and this means you have been called upon to rectify a terrible tort inflicted upon the German Folk.

And this is the reason why seeking a trade agreement with the European Union is pointless, because once Freundin has unwired Germany from the EU, this institution will have sunk beneath the waves, each country wearing size twelve lead-boots and wearing the same size straightjacket.